On Friday evening, I was overcome by my nerves about our 11 mile training run on Saturday morning. I thought of every possible motivation that could make me feel better, and meditated on the thought that I would have success. I got all of my clothes laid out and all of my assorted habits in order, and went to bed feeling unsettled. When I woke up in the morning, I just knew. I knew my run was going to be awful, I knew that I was going to have to work mentally to keep from stopping midway through, and I knew that it would be a struggle to keep up my pace. Sometimes intuition can be a curse. The question here is very "chicken or egg"... did I know it was going to go badly and then it did (like something fated to be), or did it go badly because I gave in to the intuition?
Either way, it was crap. I started out by waking up 10 minutes after my alarm went off (I think the volume was down too low), and when you have allowed yourself 30 minutes to get ready, 10 minutes is a big chunk of time. So, I ended up having to rush through my breakfast of oatmeal, egg whites, and banana, and running around like a crazy person putting on body glide/tape/sunscreen and filling my water bottles for my belt. When I was ready to go and almost out the door, my stomach went crazy! I had to run back in and go to the bathroom. I managed to get out the door 4 minutes late, and make it to meet Aunt J at Barnes&Noble 4 minutes behind schedule. Then, about 5 minutes around the beltway, I realized that I left my running belt filled with all of my Gu at home on the stairs because of my emergency bathroom trip.
YIKES!
Not having a running belt when you always do is cause for a serious panic attack. Especially when you are sensitive to caffeine and all of the Gu that they have on the course have caffeine. And, when you hate stopping for water breaks because the water is warm, or they are out of it, or all they have is gatorade.
We stopped at Royal Farms on the way to BWI and I realized that my stomach was still upset so I went to the bathroom again. I do enjoy that a lot of the courses we have been using are close to Wawa's or Royal Farms stores for that simple reason. When we got to BWI Sawmill, I talked to a couple of people about not having a running belt, and one of the coaches had a spare one for me to borrow. It really wasn't the kind that I like, but I figured something is better than nothing.
I grabbed a water bottle and stuck it in the belt, and used one of my Aunt's Clif bars. We all got ready to start and I realized that my ipod wasn't starting (it's a 1st generation Nano). So I had to hang back for a minute to figure out the problem with it, and by that time everyone else was pretty much gone. I started to run and got about 100 feet along when I noticed that my water bottle had fallen out. That meant that I had to turn around after starting so late and add even more time on. It took my almost 5 miles to get used to the running belt, because it was so old school. It had no elastic in the band and had a clip that wouldn't stay closed. It was constantly turning around on my waist and flipping up in the air.
Around mile 2, I started feeling my stomach get uneasy again, and this time I made the brilliant decision to not stop at the bathrooms that were right in front of me on the trail. When I got to mile 3, I found out just how idiotic that was. I started considering running across the street to the Burger King up ahead when I notice a port-o-potty that looked like it was intended for airport employees. It was just inside of a fence area, but not in a zone that was marked "employees only" so I ventured over to it. I was probably in there for a good 7-8 minutes and let's just say that after inhaling that much fake air freshener, it does feel a little bit like your eyes are going to pop out of your head if you hold your breath any longer.
When I came out, it occurred to me just how long I was holding my breath because my eyes were watering and I had to take a bit gasping breath. At this point, I decided to pick up my pace a little bit. I planned out my water so that I could refill it right around halfway, which meant that I could start sipping it. And, I took the first bite of the Clif bar. It was right around mile 4 that I began having gal bladder spasms, and looking back, I now know that it was because my stomach was so empty before I started refilling it. Around mile 4.5, I caught up with Aunt J who had left earlier than the rest of us to get a head start. It was nice seeing her out there and running with her for a minute!! I definitely got some motivation hearing that she was having some issues herself.
I think this is one of those life lessons that I have been unable to accept, but that I know to be true. Never assume. Don't assume that people are thinking negatively about you, don't assume that they do or do not care about you, and don't assume that their life is any easier/harder than your own. I make the mistake constantly of thinking that people are looking at me in a negative way (even when they are praising me, I still sometimes feel like they go behind my back to talk about me), or that they have had an easier time of it than me. In all reality (which I know, but find it hard to remember in those stupid moments), I cannot ever put myself in anyone elses shoes so spontaneously. Even people that I know could have something going on that I don't know about. Some sort of difficulty, or even a true happiness might be racing through their mind and I would never know it.
I'm not saying all of this because I thought that Aunt J was having an easier time than I was, so don't get me wrong! It was just an aside in reference to my daily emotional struggles that have been coming out of the woodwork these past few months. Aren't you all glad that you get to read about my issues, haha!
Anyway, back to the run.
I picked up my pace after one of the coaches gave us a little pep talk, and made it to the halfway point. It was there that I realized that I had no more water. I stopped to blow my nose (I never realize that I have spring allergies until I am running and my nose is too), and ate half of the Clif bar with my last sip of water. I turned around and then really tried to get my pace up. Around mile 6, it hit me that my mouth was really dry from the Clif, so I made the plan that even though I was going to be angry with myself, I would stop at mile 7 where I spotted some refreshments on the way out. I swear I ran even faster once I came up with that plan. So guess what happened....
No water at mile 7!! It was drained by the previous athletes. Dry. No sustenance for me. NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Was one of the things that was going through my mind. As well as some choice words. However, this freak out moment gave me a huge boost in motivation, because I knew that somewhere on the way back, there just had to be water for me! My pace increased so much that I passed a girl who was way ahead of me from the beginning, and then a team of two ladies who had passed me earlier, and then finally all of the walkers. At mile 8-9, I swear that I have never run that fast in a practice. It was all because I knew that sweet sweet water was at the 9 mile marker.
And when I got there, it was glorious. Glorious warm gatorade. I had 5 tiny cups of it and felt so refreshed that I even finished my Clif bar! :) Mile 9-10 was the absolute longest mile of the day. Even though I had finally found my pace, the winding path through the forest felt like it went on for days...something about a turn, then some trees, then a hill, then a turn, then some trees, then a hill going on for 10 minutes is monotonous... At mile 10-11, I could taste sweet victory just around the corner (mostly because I know this part of the course the best), so I kept up the energy despite my body wanting to stop and my joints aching, and I ran it in as best as I could.
All-in-all my time was 2 hours/11 minutes...but that includes the water bottle turn around at the beginning, an 8 minute bathroom break, and a stop at the turn around, and the 9 mile marker. So, maybe more like 2 hours/2 minutes??? I'm thinking when it was broken down it would have been more like 11 minute miles. In which case, I was right on par with the 10 mile run the week before.
After we got done, everyone socialized for a bit (I love this part of training together) and then Aunt J and I headed out to the Under Armour outlet (making a necessary stop at Royal Farms for some bathroom/water/food action). I finally got the hat that I should have gotten the first time we went, and a heat gear shirt for running in the warm weather. I can't believe how excited I get about buying new running clothes now! I'm such a nerd!
So, to sum it all up: my morning starting off awful, and I came away with it saying "I just ran 11 miles. I actually overcame all of my stupid negative thoughts and ran the whole thing." That's a win in my book. The coach also said something that has kept me from being hard on myself about the whole day. She said that even though at the time it may feel like you just can't get through it, you will. And the beautiful thing is, because you have a bad training run a few weeks before the big race, the day of the race will be perfect. All of the quirks are now worked out of the system and it is ready to go. Now if only real life could be like that all of the time.
Logging a lot of miles this week, so wish me luck!
XO
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