I am so tired of being injured. I looked back through my blog postings and realized that there hasn't been a single week that I've been completely injury-free. I suspect that it all spawns from my dance injury from years ago, and that each consecutive injury has been a result of one from the past. I also think that if I had a little bit more time to follow the R.I.C.E. rule. Rest.Ice.Compress.Elevate. I used to always forget the "c" but now that I am a regularly injured runner, it is just old hat.
The reason that I am talking about injuries is because sometime between last Saturday's run and Tuesday, I pulled the arch muscle in my right foot. Last week, I was finally feeling that my left foot was completing the healing process and that all that was left was some hip pain and tightness...and now, I'm stuck with this.
I was talking with a friend the other day about how there are some people in the world who seem to coast through. They go from day-to-day without any major drama, and they seem to understand how life works just fine, but they never have to deal with hardship or real set backs. I've met a few people like this in my life and it is frustrating. Not that I feel that I've gotten the hard end of the stick, but I definitely have faced some serious challenges in my life. We were talking about how lucky those people are, and then I realized that in some ways, yes, those people are lucky. But, they are also very unlucky, because the obstacles that many people face are truly what makes them stronger. It takes living through life without a silver platter to learn humility, and gratitude at their strongest.
So, maybe the fact that I've been having to face injuries every week of training has made me stronger. My persistence and dedication through all of it will make the final journey that much sweeter.
About the injury:
On Saturday, we ran 9 miles at Loch Raven Reservoir. It is such a beautiful place to run and I truly loved it. There were several setbacks right away: it started pouring the second that we started running, and didn't stop until mile 6; I had desperate need for a bathroom and there were none there (you would think there would've been, seeing as how we're racing for Crohn's and Colitis, both gastrointestinal diseases) so I ended up going behind a tree; I had a new shirt on that I didn't have time to wash and halfway through, I felt myself itching from a breakout.
HOWEVER, I continued on with the help of several people. For the first few miles, I was running with a new person that I've never met at training. Her name is Veronica. She was so nice and we talked about everything from bras-music-dentist-mothers. She had to miss a few weeks of training, so I felt compelled to help her keep up her pace and at least run until the top of the very first hill. I liked helping her and I could definitely see myself being a coach if I could lose a few more pounds and make some time in my schedule. When we got to the top of mile 3, a coach was there to run with us for a bit and she helped pass the time a bit more talking about dietary issues. Finally, Veronica slowed and the coach stayed back with her. I picked up the pace and caught up to Ashley and Katie. Two VERY awesome ladies (one a mentor and one a participant). Ashley came in ahead of me by a minute at the 10k, so I really wanted to work on trying to keep up with her as much as I could. We had a nice chat and kept a medium pace until we got to the really long uphill sequence, and my stomach started hurting. I tried a Gu, but it still felt uneasy, so I backed my pace up a click or two and Ashley went ahead.
Mile 6-7 was a real winner, let me tell you! We started at the bottom on the road by Sander's old restaurant and ran all the way up to the top of the hill on Providence road. It was unforgiving to say the least. There was a moment when I thought I was going to punch a sign that said "Team Challenge" on it and it ended up not being the turnaround sign. I felt the need to be violent for a moment there, ha ha! My pace slowed all the way until the top of that and then I finally took off. From 7-8 was mostly downhill and I really kept my pace up. Then, for the last mile I pretty much sprinted. This is a new thing that I have been doing. Even when I run on the treadmill, I finish with a bang!
When I was finished, I realized that I felt MUCH MUCH better than the first time that I ran 9 miles. In fact, I could have kept going! Maybe it was adrenaline, or maybe I have finally gotten to the point where I am ready to run this half marathon. I'm hoping it was the latter. After the race, I went home and took it easy all day. I even took a nap!! Can I get a hallelujah, amen?! I intended it to be a 1.5 hour nap and ended up sleeping 3!! Woohoo, yea, yea. When I woke up, I did start to feel the run in my muscles. I think the reason that I felt it so much more in my bum and hammer's was A. We ran uphill for 1/2 of it and, B. I decided to do weight training on Friday night at the gym. A+B=ouch. I had to sing Easter Vigil that evening and the entire thing is a long process of sit-stand-kneel-sing, and I ended up sit-stand-sit-singing instead. I even still felt sore on Sunday.
On Monday, I ran 4 miles outside in Pikesville. I've been using Google maps to do this because I like the element of mystery in that, compared with Mapmyrun.com. It turned out to be an interesting surprise, too! I literally had to run straight uphill and then straight downhill through a neighborhood that I didn't even know existed (I thought it was just a connecting road to a main road). And then, I had to run straight uphill on Old Court and turned right through what ended up being a gated apartment complex (I got some dirty looks from old ladies). The new and exciting paths are always a good distraction for me! I am almost 100% positive that on that straight uphill is where I pulled my arch.
When I went to teach on Monday afternoon, my foot felt a little tight. When I woke up Tuesday morning, it HURT. I kept stretching and it would feel better for a minute, but then it would go right back to the tight and aching feeling. I had a hard day because my intention was to do a fast 5 miler on Tuesday morning and after cutting the grass, I didn't have time. So then I planned on doing 6 miles Tuesday evening after a church service and cutting my Wednesday run back. When I left church, my foot felt tight still. When I got out of the car at the gym, it was a sharp pulling feeling that radiated up my whole leg.
I got back in the car and drove home. When i got home I felt so guilty for not having done any exercise that I put my running clothes back on and got ready to go out and push through a run anyway. Then I realized that I was having a problem and I called Alec. Thank you God for Alec. My voice of sanity when I am being obsessive compulsive. And thank you God for giving me the insight to know that I am caught up in my obsession so I need to call someone.
Today I ended up running through the foot pain. I used Rock Tape (LOVE that stuff!!!!!!!!!) to wrap around my arch and I did 6 miles in a little slower than the 6.2 that I ran for the 10K. I am OK with that because I know that it was what my body needed. Though sometimes I just want to punch my injuries. Somehow, I think that might be counterproductive. Just sayin'....
This week we are running 10 miles at the NCR trail. I am REALLY nervous about this. I feel like I have just figured out the right amount of Gu/water and the right pace to complete 9 and now all of sudden, it is changing. Maybe my nerves will help get me through the run! Yea. I'm gonna go with that....
Until next time.......
(Isn't that what Lavar Burton used to say on "Reading Rainbow"?)
XO
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
90 lbs/10K/Wedding madness
So I think I will make this entry short, because I am sleepy and I just haven't had any breathing time by myself in the past few days.
I have had an epiphany amidst all of the wedding craziness. This is what I already knew: I am the kind of person who will always desire to "go with the flow" of life and look for the most laid back/fun people to be around, BUT, I also set very high standards for myself and have a hard time letting go when I don't reach my goals. This is what I realized: In terms of wedding planning, the part of me whol loves to be carefree and laid back is arguing with the part of me that sets high standards. I cannot let the carefree self takeover completely while planning an event, because it is inevitable that later on, the detail-oriented self will creep in and completely change all decisions that were made while being carefree...or at least freak out about them.
My cousin said earlier on the phone today that maybe it is a good thing that I don't have everything done yet (I was expressing how frustrating it is to have to wait until so late in the game to do so many little things), because if I did, I would just be waiting...
and waiting....
and waiting...
For 4 1/2 months.
That doesn't sound like fun to me at all. So, I've decided to take her attitude, and do what I can in the way that I want to do it. Even when I want to be carefree and laid back, I cannot deny the true part of myself that wants things to be a specific way. It is OK to be detail-oriented, as long as when the time for the wedding comes, I can allow myself to have a good time and let go. I am finally getting to the point where I am really truly excited. I cannot wait to marry Alec, and I cannot wait to spend the weekend with the people that I love at a big, beautiful party.
I also have had a bit of a boost with my weight loss, because I've been on a plateau for WEEEEEEEKS. It has been just terrible weighing myself and seeing the same number over and over. When I started the marathon, I assumed that it would all just melt away. What I have found instead is that I've built up muscles so much from my training schedule that I actually gained 2 pounds. So, where before I was only 1 pound away from 90, it went to 3 pounds away. This is the first time in my weight loss journey that I have gained weight that has stayed on for any amount of time. You can imagine how backwards that feels. I was suddenly back up to 193 for about a month and a half, and it wouldn't budge. Right down to the ounces. THEN, last week, I weighed myself and it was one of the greatest days that I've had with this whole thing so far! I weigh 190 pounds!! I've lost 90 pounds!! It is an amazing feeling knowing that I've accomplished that in a little over 1 1/2 years. And, my measurements just keep shrinking. So, while I may not have been losing pounds, I've defnitely gone down in inches, and am still going down. Phew!
I think it helped that I've been starting to run outside and utilize the more hilly courses around the area. Instead of running the flat course that I first mapped out, I've been ending with a huge 1 mile long hill, or making sure that I have rolling hills in all of my maps. I've also been trying to increase speed. It may be helping to get off the treadmill because I've been able to let myself go. However, I must admit that I miss the t.v.'s and distractions at the gym. I also have been slacking a little with my weight training because of running outside. My next investments are an exercise ball, bands, and an ab roller for my house.
Oooo speaking of investments: I went to Charm City Run (love that place) and bought a new sports bra and a hydration belt. I also went out and got some 100+ Neutrogena Ultimate sunblock to avoid burns and tanlines. Best purchases for running in a while! I talked to one of the people who is training with us about the fact that my chest was bleeding after long runs and she suggested a different brand of bra. So far, it has been perfect! My first day with it was a little weird because it has adjustable straps, and I think I had them too tight so I had neck pain. But after I figured that out, I haven't had a single complaint. Hooray for the people out there who know not all runners are flat-chested. Have I talked about this already? If I have I'm sorry. But I'm just so excited about the difference!
The belt took me a little longer to get used to, and I must say that it is still a little strange. The bottles wobble and sometimes they leak if they aren't completely closed. Also, the water gets warm halfway through the run, so it really needs to be consumed pretty quickly. I'm thinking about putting some ice in next time to see how that works to maintain the temperature.
The most recent training run wasn't one that I used the belt for, though. It was a 10K. My first time ever being officially "timed" for a race. And I really loved it! It gave me extra motivation to keep my speed up and I ended up beating my best time by 7 minutes. That's over 1 minute per mile faster! It was a nice course, too.
We met at BWI Sawmill, which is right off of 97, and it has a baseball park attached to it. The course started there and then went across a bridge to another wooded area. Then it crossed a street and we were right next to the airport. It's cool seeing the planes take off while you're running. Also, I LOVED the surface of that course. It had a little give, but it was still paved. I ended up coming in way ahead of one of the girls that I have been behind almost every week...not to say that I would have been unhappy if I hadn't done that, because it is all healthy competition, but it is still ok that I am proud of myself for really pulling it together. It ended up being a crappy day again (I don't get it, every week it is beautiful and then every Saturday it is cold and rainy), and that proved a challenge. The rain wasn't bad until my last mile, so it gave me an extra boost to sprint to the finish line. Yet, I realized later on that even though I wasn't running all 6.2 in a torrential down pour, I was still soaked all the way through.
At the end of the run, we got back to the pavilion and there was breakfast there for everyone. This is something that I've been struggling with. I know that I just ran a race and that my metabolism is really high, but I still cannot bring myself to indulge in any foods. I guess it's not a bad thing, right? Being healthy is good, so I should be proud of myself. But sometimes I wonder if it has gotten to the point where I cannot reward myself. Hmm...maybe I did reward myself. I take that back. Aunt J and I ended up going to the Under Armour outlet after the run and I got two pairs of running shorts. That was definitely a reward! I take all of that back about the food. :)
So, the epiphanies continue during this time of training/wedding planning/weight loss, and I hope to keep having them as much as I have so that I can share them with you. I've even had others, but my brain is too fried to post about anything else. Because, like I said, this is going to be a short post. I said that, didn't I? And when I say short, I mean moderately long. Still working on my hip and ankle injuries. Hopefully, by the next post, I will be telling you that they are all better.
Until next time: in the heat and humidity, if you are outside and sweating, always hydrate hydrate hydrate. You're skin/brain/stomach/lips/body will thank you. Also, even if you get tan, wear your sunscreen, and a hat. Even lip sunscreen doesn't hurt. The UV rays are evil and you are too precious to me.
XO
I have had an epiphany amidst all of the wedding craziness. This is what I already knew: I am the kind of person who will always desire to "go with the flow" of life and look for the most laid back/fun people to be around, BUT, I also set very high standards for myself and have a hard time letting go when I don't reach my goals. This is what I realized: In terms of wedding planning, the part of me whol loves to be carefree and laid back is arguing with the part of me that sets high standards. I cannot let the carefree self takeover completely while planning an event, because it is inevitable that later on, the detail-oriented self will creep in and completely change all decisions that were made while being carefree...or at least freak out about them.
My cousin said earlier on the phone today that maybe it is a good thing that I don't have everything done yet (I was expressing how frustrating it is to have to wait until so late in the game to do so many little things), because if I did, I would just be waiting...
and waiting....
and waiting...
For 4 1/2 months.
That doesn't sound like fun to me at all. So, I've decided to take her attitude, and do what I can in the way that I want to do it. Even when I want to be carefree and laid back, I cannot deny the true part of myself that wants things to be a specific way. It is OK to be detail-oriented, as long as when the time for the wedding comes, I can allow myself to have a good time and let go. I am finally getting to the point where I am really truly excited. I cannot wait to marry Alec, and I cannot wait to spend the weekend with the people that I love at a big, beautiful party.
I also have had a bit of a boost with my weight loss, because I've been on a plateau for WEEEEEEEKS. It has been just terrible weighing myself and seeing the same number over and over. When I started the marathon, I assumed that it would all just melt away. What I have found instead is that I've built up muscles so much from my training schedule that I actually gained 2 pounds. So, where before I was only 1 pound away from 90, it went to 3 pounds away. This is the first time in my weight loss journey that I have gained weight that has stayed on for any amount of time. You can imagine how backwards that feels. I was suddenly back up to 193 for about a month and a half, and it wouldn't budge. Right down to the ounces. THEN, last week, I weighed myself and it was one of the greatest days that I've had with this whole thing so far! I weigh 190 pounds!! I've lost 90 pounds!! It is an amazing feeling knowing that I've accomplished that in a little over 1 1/2 years. And, my measurements just keep shrinking. So, while I may not have been losing pounds, I've defnitely gone down in inches, and am still going down. Phew!
I think it helped that I've been starting to run outside and utilize the more hilly courses around the area. Instead of running the flat course that I first mapped out, I've been ending with a huge 1 mile long hill, or making sure that I have rolling hills in all of my maps. I've also been trying to increase speed. It may be helping to get off the treadmill because I've been able to let myself go. However, I must admit that I miss the t.v.'s and distractions at the gym. I also have been slacking a little with my weight training because of running outside. My next investments are an exercise ball, bands, and an ab roller for my house.
Oooo speaking of investments: I went to Charm City Run (love that place) and bought a new sports bra and a hydration belt. I also went out and got some 100+ Neutrogena Ultimate sunblock to avoid burns and tanlines. Best purchases for running in a while! I talked to one of the people who is training with us about the fact that my chest was bleeding after long runs and she suggested a different brand of bra. So far, it has been perfect! My first day with it was a little weird because it has adjustable straps, and I think I had them too tight so I had neck pain. But after I figured that out, I haven't had a single complaint. Hooray for the people out there who know not all runners are flat-chested. Have I talked about this already? If I have I'm sorry. But I'm just so excited about the difference!
The belt took me a little longer to get used to, and I must say that it is still a little strange. The bottles wobble and sometimes they leak if they aren't completely closed. Also, the water gets warm halfway through the run, so it really needs to be consumed pretty quickly. I'm thinking about putting some ice in next time to see how that works to maintain the temperature.
The most recent training run wasn't one that I used the belt for, though. It was a 10K. My first time ever being officially "timed" for a race. And I really loved it! It gave me extra motivation to keep my speed up and I ended up beating my best time by 7 minutes. That's over 1 minute per mile faster! It was a nice course, too.
We met at BWI Sawmill, which is right off of 97, and it has a baseball park attached to it. The course started there and then went across a bridge to another wooded area. Then it crossed a street and we were right next to the airport. It's cool seeing the planes take off while you're running. Also, I LOVED the surface of that course. It had a little give, but it was still paved. I ended up coming in way ahead of one of the girls that I have been behind almost every week...not to say that I would have been unhappy if I hadn't done that, because it is all healthy competition, but it is still ok that I am proud of myself for really pulling it together. It ended up being a crappy day again (I don't get it, every week it is beautiful and then every Saturday it is cold and rainy), and that proved a challenge. The rain wasn't bad until my last mile, so it gave me an extra boost to sprint to the finish line. Yet, I realized later on that even though I wasn't running all 6.2 in a torrential down pour, I was still soaked all the way through.
At the end of the run, we got back to the pavilion and there was breakfast there for everyone. This is something that I've been struggling with. I know that I just ran a race and that my metabolism is really high, but I still cannot bring myself to indulge in any foods. I guess it's not a bad thing, right? Being healthy is good, so I should be proud of myself. But sometimes I wonder if it has gotten to the point where I cannot reward myself. Hmm...maybe I did reward myself. I take that back. Aunt J and I ended up going to the Under Armour outlet after the run and I got two pairs of running shorts. That was definitely a reward! I take all of that back about the food. :)
So, the epiphanies continue during this time of training/wedding planning/weight loss, and I hope to keep having them as much as I have so that I can share them with you. I've even had others, but my brain is too fried to post about anything else. Because, like I said, this is going to be a short post. I said that, didn't I? And when I say short, I mean moderately long. Still working on my hip and ankle injuries. Hopefully, by the next post, I will be telling you that they are all better.
Until next time: in the heat and humidity, if you are outside and sweating, always hydrate hydrate hydrate. You're skin/brain/stomach/lips/body will thank you. Also, even if you get tan, wear your sunscreen, and a hat. Even lip sunscreen doesn't hurt. The UV rays are evil and you are too precious to me.
XO
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
I ran 9 miles!!!!!!!!!!!
Well actually, it was more like 9.1, because someone from the coaching team got the route slightly wrong, which ended in running around the bathroom area twice. My the bathrooms were lovely. BUT, I'm getting ahead of myself!
Last weekend and week, I was SO busy that I felt beyond insane. I didn't even have enough time to think about stressing over wedding or marathon stuff because I only had the time to do what I was doing at the moment. How's that for living in the moment? Ha. So, my run schedule Monday-Friday was interesting. I ended up switching some of the longer runs around and ended up adding a run in on Friday morning before I went wedding dress shopping.
Oh yeah, I GOT A WEDDING DRESS!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhh!!!!!!! For risk of Alec reading this, I won't go into any detail, but let's just say that it is not really what I set myself out to get as far as fabric/color/style, but it has the important qualities of classic, modern, and romantic. We went to two different places to find it and there was another dress that I was considering, but I am SO glad that I didn't go with that one and continued to the second store. The people at the second place were also really awesome, so if you're looking for a prom/recital/wedding dress, ask me about it!
I had a really difficult time saying "yes" at the dress store, because it was a very emotional moment for me. It was overwhelming to think about the fact that this is our "one and only" wedding and that everyone will be looking at me on that day. I went through so many feelings standing there. All I could think was about the fact that there might be another dress out there that is better for me, or that maybe I should look for more, or what if I don't like this dress in a couple of months when I go to get it fitted.
At the first store, I loved the woman who was helping me and there were some nice dresses there. As I went to stand on the platform in front of everyone, it really didn't sink in until 3 or 4 dresses that I was looking for my wedding dress. When it did hit me, I had the first really big "I am a bride" moment since being engaged. I actually pictured myself walking down the aisle in white. (I am such a visual person that before actually trying a wedding dress on, all I could picture was everything else in the wedding. I had all those details worked out perfectly, but just couldn't picture myself). An enormous help in the whole process of shopping was having my sister (and MOH!) there with me. Not only is she my favorite lady to be around, she also has this amazing ability to bring me back to who I am, and help me center and live with more of an open heart. So, she was the perfect person to have in the dressing room and the perfect person to talk to when I needed help.
It was actually really cool looking at myself in the mirror that long. Not that I'm vain about myself... I've always been one to run away from mirrors...but this experience was the first time since being in an opera that I was forced to stare at myself in a mirror for a long period of time. It actually started to sink in that I've lost weight.
This may be something that you will hear from other people who lose a significant amount as well, because it is one of the challenges of letting go of the old person and forming a new self image; I struggle every minute of every day with accepting exactly what I look like now. I go into the store and am afraid to pull clothes that are in the size that I am now, because I am absolutely convinced that I am going to wake up and this is all going to be one big weight loss dream. I even wake up every morning and am shocked at how I look. In my head I am still a size 22, in my dreams every night, I am still a size 22...even though I may feel soooo healthy and energetic and in-shape, I still think that I look like I did a year and 1/2 ago. Weird, huh?
So, I am working on that. Standing in front of a mirror for 3 hours helped. Perhaps by the time of the wedding, I will have enough mirror time and pictures of myself that I will have a good strong mental image that is a little more realistic.
Speaking of the time of the wedding, let's talk about how much I LOVE that it is going to be warm at that time of year. The other day when it was 80 degrees outside, I was like "oh yeah, this is why we're having a summer wedding!" But, that was also the day that I went running outside and felt myself really slowing down. I am pretty sure that running when it is 30-50 degrees outside and then all of a sudden running in 80, is like shock for your body. Especially if you are not hydrated enough, which I wasn't. Or, if you ate more bad foods the day before that, which I did. My hands were like sausages by the end of it. My rings would just barely fit on my fingers!
I mapped a new run around my area that day that I quite enjoyed. It went through a park, by a train, under a bridge, up a hill, down main street, and all through my neighborhood. The only issue was that it was 80 degrees and there was no shade until the last mile. Despite my efforts of putting on plenty of sunscreen (can't have bad tan lines for the wedding!) I still got a tan. Uh-oh! I might ask the coaches what their advice would be on sunscreen that works with excessive sweating. Otherwise, I think I will spend the entire summer with strapless shirts on gardening and laying out in my back yard. Has anyone else with pale skin done distance runs?? What do you do for it??
Although, that was not an issue this past Saturday at practice. We met at the Gwynns Falls trail in Baltimore City at the end of I-70, where the Park-N-Ride is, and ran all through the park. I forget what the park name is, but it is actually really beautiful. Coming from this area, it is general knowledge that Security isn't considered the safest place to be, and there was definitely a moment there in the beginning that I could have sworn I saw a trash bag that was human shaped in the woods....BUT, once we got to the main area that winds around the falls, it was gorgeous. The first mile ran down through a little town, crossed a road several times, and then went up into the woods. There was a leg of it that was going straight down a ramp that made sharp turns all the way down. Mile 2 was where we ended up going around the bathroom area in a circle before one of the coaches caught me and told me to go the other way. I was tempted to stop to use the restroom, but I resisted because I really wanted to finish with a decent time.
After mile 2, the rest of the run until the turn-around at 4.5 was consistently in the woods. There was one bit that was on a road, and then woods again all the way. I think it was around the turn-around that I felt my ankle tweak again. For the first 4 miles, it was like it was completely healed and then all of a sudden after I stopped for Gu at 4.5, I felt it twinge and for the rest of the run it never felt the same. On the way back, I also realized that I absolutely had to stop and use the restroom. This was a big disappointment for me, because I was trying to make it home as quickly as possible to see my sister/niece. Let's just say that the bathrooms there left something to be desired- including but not limited to: toilet paper. I hit my brick wall at mile 8, which was what I was anticipated. That is the furthest that I ran before that day, and my body was ready to be finished. So, as I anticipated this happening, I was smart and packed an extra Gu for that moment. It gave me a tiny little boost that allowed me to complete the last mile. I think I might have even sped up!
One thing that I liked was that I ended up finishing ahead of someone that I've consistently been behind at the practices. Not that I was trying to do this, it just sort of happened around mile 6. Even with the bathroom break at 7, I still managed to keep a decent enough gap. When I finished the run, I grabbed a water and booked it out of there. I could feel my stomach getting upset, and I really wanted to get home for waffle brunch with my sister/fiance/niece/aunt. The plan was that I would run home and shower, and then start the waffles. In reality, my stomach got upset instantly when I got home and took all day to feel normal again. Alec and Laura ended up making the waffles (which were good after the first few came out a little strange) and we had the perfect meal for a post-run. Blueberry waffles with fresh fruit and real maple syrup. MMMMMmmmm! I froze some, so I might do that again in a week.
So, it is now 7 weeks to the race. A little update for my current state: My ankle pain seems to have just disappeared overnight, and I have no idea why, but I will not complain. My hip still feels tight, and I am going to try to ice it as much as I can over the next week. I have noticed some REALLY bad chaffing as well on my chest that bled after the 8 mile run, so I am heading out this week to buy a bra that is made for runners who are not flat-chested. I'm excited about that! Also, I've decided to get a belt that I can use to have water and Gu in, so that I don't have to make stops anymore and so I can time the nourishment according to my needs. My aunt and I are planning to go to the Under Armour outlet after the race on Saturday, so that might end in some other clothing that will help me in the next few months. I'm looking forward to feeling a little more comfortable than I have so far! I've completed my first two days of training this week and I'm feeling well, so I'm hoping that I will continue to improve - hip-wise - as the week progresses. It's all up to my dedication of icing and rest. So, until next time, I love you all and wish me luck!
XO
Up next- I am running out of foreshadowing topics. Anything that you all would like to hear about?
Last weekend and week, I was SO busy that I felt beyond insane. I didn't even have enough time to think about stressing over wedding or marathon stuff because I only had the time to do what I was doing at the moment. How's that for living in the moment? Ha. So, my run schedule Monday-Friday was interesting. I ended up switching some of the longer runs around and ended up adding a run in on Friday morning before I went wedding dress shopping.
Oh yeah, I GOT A WEDDING DRESS!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhh!!!!!!! For risk of Alec reading this, I won't go into any detail, but let's just say that it is not really what I set myself out to get as far as fabric/color/style, but it has the important qualities of classic, modern, and romantic. We went to two different places to find it and there was another dress that I was considering, but I am SO glad that I didn't go with that one and continued to the second store. The people at the second place were also really awesome, so if you're looking for a prom/recital/wedding dress, ask me about it!
I had a really difficult time saying "yes" at the dress store, because it was a very emotional moment for me. It was overwhelming to think about the fact that this is our "one and only" wedding and that everyone will be looking at me on that day. I went through so many feelings standing there. All I could think was about the fact that there might be another dress out there that is better for me, or that maybe I should look for more, or what if I don't like this dress in a couple of months when I go to get it fitted.
At the first store, I loved the woman who was helping me and there were some nice dresses there. As I went to stand on the platform in front of everyone, it really didn't sink in until 3 or 4 dresses that I was looking for my wedding dress. When it did hit me, I had the first really big "I am a bride" moment since being engaged. I actually pictured myself walking down the aisle in white. (I am such a visual person that before actually trying a wedding dress on, all I could picture was everything else in the wedding. I had all those details worked out perfectly, but just couldn't picture myself). An enormous help in the whole process of shopping was having my sister (and MOH!) there with me. Not only is she my favorite lady to be around, she also has this amazing ability to bring me back to who I am, and help me center and live with more of an open heart. So, she was the perfect person to have in the dressing room and the perfect person to talk to when I needed help.
It was actually really cool looking at myself in the mirror that long. Not that I'm vain about myself... I've always been one to run away from mirrors...but this experience was the first time since being in an opera that I was forced to stare at myself in a mirror for a long period of time. It actually started to sink in that I've lost weight.
This may be something that you will hear from other people who lose a significant amount as well, because it is one of the challenges of letting go of the old person and forming a new self image; I struggle every minute of every day with accepting exactly what I look like now. I go into the store and am afraid to pull clothes that are in the size that I am now, because I am absolutely convinced that I am going to wake up and this is all going to be one big weight loss dream. I even wake up every morning and am shocked at how I look. In my head I am still a size 22, in my dreams every night, I am still a size 22...even though I may feel soooo healthy and energetic and in-shape, I still think that I look like I did a year and 1/2 ago. Weird, huh?
So, I am working on that. Standing in front of a mirror for 3 hours helped. Perhaps by the time of the wedding, I will have enough mirror time and pictures of myself that I will have a good strong mental image that is a little more realistic.
Speaking of the time of the wedding, let's talk about how much I LOVE that it is going to be warm at that time of year. The other day when it was 80 degrees outside, I was like "oh yeah, this is why we're having a summer wedding!" But, that was also the day that I went running outside and felt myself really slowing down. I am pretty sure that running when it is 30-50 degrees outside and then all of a sudden running in 80, is like shock for your body. Especially if you are not hydrated enough, which I wasn't. Or, if you ate more bad foods the day before that, which I did. My hands were like sausages by the end of it. My rings would just barely fit on my fingers!
I mapped a new run around my area that day that I quite enjoyed. It went through a park, by a train, under a bridge, up a hill, down main street, and all through my neighborhood. The only issue was that it was 80 degrees and there was no shade until the last mile. Despite my efforts of putting on plenty of sunscreen (can't have bad tan lines for the wedding!) I still got a tan. Uh-oh! I might ask the coaches what their advice would be on sunscreen that works with excessive sweating. Otherwise, I think I will spend the entire summer with strapless shirts on gardening and laying out in my back yard. Has anyone else with pale skin done distance runs?? What do you do for it??
Although, that was not an issue this past Saturday at practice. We met at the Gwynns Falls trail in Baltimore City at the end of I-70, where the Park-N-Ride is, and ran all through the park. I forget what the park name is, but it is actually really beautiful. Coming from this area, it is general knowledge that Security isn't considered the safest place to be, and there was definitely a moment there in the beginning that I could have sworn I saw a trash bag that was human shaped in the woods....BUT, once we got to the main area that winds around the falls, it was gorgeous. The first mile ran down through a little town, crossed a road several times, and then went up into the woods. There was a leg of it that was going straight down a ramp that made sharp turns all the way down. Mile 2 was where we ended up going around the bathroom area in a circle before one of the coaches caught me and told me to go the other way. I was tempted to stop to use the restroom, but I resisted because I really wanted to finish with a decent time.
After mile 2, the rest of the run until the turn-around at 4.5 was consistently in the woods. There was one bit that was on a road, and then woods again all the way. I think it was around the turn-around that I felt my ankle tweak again. For the first 4 miles, it was like it was completely healed and then all of a sudden after I stopped for Gu at 4.5, I felt it twinge and for the rest of the run it never felt the same. On the way back, I also realized that I absolutely had to stop and use the restroom. This was a big disappointment for me, because I was trying to make it home as quickly as possible to see my sister/niece. Let's just say that the bathrooms there left something to be desired- including but not limited to: toilet paper. I hit my brick wall at mile 8, which was what I was anticipated. That is the furthest that I ran before that day, and my body was ready to be finished. So, as I anticipated this happening, I was smart and packed an extra Gu for that moment. It gave me a tiny little boost that allowed me to complete the last mile. I think I might have even sped up!
One thing that I liked was that I ended up finishing ahead of someone that I've consistently been behind at the practices. Not that I was trying to do this, it just sort of happened around mile 6. Even with the bathroom break at 7, I still managed to keep a decent enough gap. When I finished the run, I grabbed a water and booked it out of there. I could feel my stomach getting upset, and I really wanted to get home for waffle brunch with my sister/fiance/niece/aunt. The plan was that I would run home and shower, and then start the waffles. In reality, my stomach got upset instantly when I got home and took all day to feel normal again. Alec and Laura ended up making the waffles (which were good after the first few came out a little strange) and we had the perfect meal for a post-run. Blueberry waffles with fresh fruit and real maple syrup. MMMMMmmmm! I froze some, so I might do that again in a week.
So, it is now 7 weeks to the race. A little update for my current state: My ankle pain seems to have just disappeared overnight, and I have no idea why, but I will not complain. My hip still feels tight, and I am going to try to ice it as much as I can over the next week. I have noticed some REALLY bad chaffing as well on my chest that bled after the 8 mile run, so I am heading out this week to buy a bra that is made for runners who are not flat-chested. I'm excited about that! Also, I've decided to get a belt that I can use to have water and Gu in, so that I don't have to make stops anymore and so I can time the nourishment according to my needs. My aunt and I are planning to go to the Under Armour outlet after the race on Saturday, so that might end in some other clothing that will help me in the next few months. I'm looking forward to feeling a little more comfortable than I have so far! I've completed my first two days of training this week and I'm feeling well, so I'm hoping that I will continue to improve - hip-wise - as the week progresses. It's all up to my dedication of icing and rest. So, until next time, I love you all and wish me luck!
XO
Up next- I am running out of foreshadowing topics. Anything that you all would like to hear about?
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Am I losing weight?/Running on ankles/Vibrams/8 miles..
Am I losing weight right now? No. Am I beyond patience with that fact? Yes. At the beginning of the year, I was convinced that between joining weight watchers (I was doing it everyday then, but it's not as practical with marathon training), and signing up for the race that I would lose at least another 10-15 pounds before June. So far, I've only lost 6 (since Feb.) and I'm getting discouraged. I considered ending my subscription to weight watchers, but something is telling me to continue to try and see if it works. I know that I have had plateaus in the past that have lasted for a month, but this one seems to be going on FOREVER! Any advice out there? I have tried adjusting my diet, upping my weight lifting, lowering my weight lifting, upping my mph while running and more. There has got to be a way...
Last night I told Alec that I feel like I am really boring to talk to lately. Everything that I say is within a limited range of topics: stress from-marathon training, my injuries and pain from training, wedding planning, and how I feel overwhelmed with everything right now. Sometimes I am so surprised that I actually keep going... I get to the end of the day and feel like my entire day was a daze of activities. The sad part is that even though I know that I am working very hard, I get so hard on myself for not doing more. For not being completely caught up in every area that I can, for not being perfect at everything that I do. I spend a lot of time living in the future and not allowing myself to enjoy the moment. I am constantly making lists in my head about things that I need to do when I get home and am so afraid that I will forget to do what is important, that I hardly ever live in the present.
I have noticed that there are certain people in my life that allow me to feel content with right now when we are hanging out, and I've been trying to connect with them as much as I can lately. Perhaps this is the "reaching out to friends" that the bridal book I have been reading discusses. It says that a bride's friends are a reflection of the phases that she has been through in her life, and that many brides feel the need to reconnect with those past lives to complete the grieving process when she is nearing the wedding. I know that I have been experiencing the need to reach out to my friends, but I can't tell if it is because I am trying to reconnect with the past "single Sara" or if it is simply because I am really stressed and need relief. Either way, it has been nice feeling closer to people that I had grown apart from. Also, I think that some of the newer friends that I have made have been more of a reflection of the type of person that I am seeking to be. More forgiving of myself, and present in my day-to-day life, and most importantly less competitive!
You might think running a marathon would tend to lead in the competitive direction, wouldn't you? Well, I do accept that it is technically a "race," and I believe that because I have now accepted it as competition that I have been able to face my issue head-on. With every race that I run, each day of the week, I am reminding myself almost constantly that I am running because I feel good when I have accomplished my goal. Or, that I am overcoming my weakness to compete against myself by accepting in the moment that I want to compete and instead of giving in, I am choosing to enjoy the scenery or feel the song that I am listening to within myself deeper than I could if my only concentration was to be the best. I think, therefore, that in that moment I am the best that I can be. As a weak individual, my greatest feat will always be to accept that I am weak and then find the power within myself to overcome it.
Physical weaknesses have allowed me to keep my mind from being negative about the actual run by allowing me to concentrate on keeping my stride straight, not striking too hard and effecting the joints, and keeping my temperature at a comfortable level. It is amazing the amount of freedom that I feel in my mind when I have simpler focuses such as those, compared with the normal flow of everyday thinking. This makes me realize how I could benefit from adding more yoga and meditation into my life. Something that I've wanted to do for sometime now, but until recently have not allowed to take any importance.
As for the injuries, they are coming along. My ankle seems to be on a roller coaster route to healing and I am dealing with it as much as I can. I am terrified that it is not going to heal in time for the big race, but I am sticking to what most people say about it eventually just working itself out. The hip seems to have gotten worse since the ankle flared up and I think that is due entirely to the fact that my gate is altered again. For now, I am going to keep going with the "stretch, ice, rest" method. Cross your fingers for me!
A suggestion that I have now become obsessed with following through on after the race is over is getting some Vibrams Five Fingers. They are the greatest invention for trail and outdoor running they support your ankles and joints like I need. That and a new or upgraded bike are my next physical fitness purchases. I've also considered doing a mini-triathlon training course because I love cycling/running/swimming so much! I figure, if I've made it to the marathon, I can do a MINI triathlon with enough training. We shall see how this marathon plays out and if it is something I feel able to improve upon.
It certainly makes my 8 mile run yesterday seem wimpy. But then, so do a lot of crazy athletic accomplishments that people have made before. I do know that I felt very hardcore running in 40 degrees with a constant rain hitting me and completely soaking through all of my clothing. AND making puddles in the bottom of my shoes...that was yucky. My ankle hurt for the first 2 miles while it was still warming up, but it faded significantly by the 3rd mile. I should say that I had a bridal shower to go to so I was unable to attend the training run. Instead, I used the pedestrian option on google maps to map 4 miles from my house straight down Smith Ave.
I had a few very challenging hills to tackle (not something I would've gotten at the NCR trail for training), and there were a few moment that I felt compelled to run faster...but I knew that if i didn't pace myself I would crap out much quicker. Esp. on hills. At 4 miles, I stopped for a few steps beyond my street marker to walk and take my Gu. The mile from 3-4 was entirely downhill and I knew that I was facing only extreme uphill on my way back, so I took a minute to make my gall bladder spasms go away with nourishment (I get spasms when my stomach's empty), to stretch my ankle, and to remove a headband that was getting warm for me. I figure since I kept walking beyond 4 and didn't immediately turn around, that I technically ran all 8 miles!
Anyway, I made it all 8 miles running except for that small break and completed my time in about 100 minutes. Slower than my treadmill 8, but it included hills and navigating sidewalks/streets/crossings. When I got to the 6.5 mile marker, I upped my pace to about 6mph and ran it home. I keep telling myself that because I was able to do that on the last 1.5, that next week I will be able to make 9 miles. Something I've never been able to do in my life. The most I've ever run is 8.5, so I know this will be a huge week for me. Also, next weekend is wedding dress shopping for me. 2 big things happening in one weekend!! I'm going to try to blog some this week so I can do some short daily entries, but I know that every time I've set out to do that I haven't found the time. This is going to be an insanely busy week ending in a very exciting weekend.
Also, one last note. I am wanted to say that I am just so honored and flattered that so many of you have been reading. I can't tell you how much your support means to me. There have been several times that I have completely welled up with emotion while running just thinking about all of you, and I want you to know that all of your kind words have meant the world to me. So thank you, and I hope to do you justice with some good future blogging.
XO
Next up: who knows....I'm living in the moment.
Last night I told Alec that I feel like I am really boring to talk to lately. Everything that I say is within a limited range of topics: stress from-marathon training, my injuries and pain from training, wedding planning, and how I feel overwhelmed with everything right now. Sometimes I am so surprised that I actually keep going... I get to the end of the day and feel like my entire day was a daze of activities. The sad part is that even though I know that I am working very hard, I get so hard on myself for not doing more. For not being completely caught up in every area that I can, for not being perfect at everything that I do. I spend a lot of time living in the future and not allowing myself to enjoy the moment. I am constantly making lists in my head about things that I need to do when I get home and am so afraid that I will forget to do what is important, that I hardly ever live in the present.
I have noticed that there are certain people in my life that allow me to feel content with right now when we are hanging out, and I've been trying to connect with them as much as I can lately. Perhaps this is the "reaching out to friends" that the bridal book I have been reading discusses. It says that a bride's friends are a reflection of the phases that she has been through in her life, and that many brides feel the need to reconnect with those past lives to complete the grieving process when she is nearing the wedding. I know that I have been experiencing the need to reach out to my friends, but I can't tell if it is because I am trying to reconnect with the past "single Sara" or if it is simply because I am really stressed and need relief. Either way, it has been nice feeling closer to people that I had grown apart from. Also, I think that some of the newer friends that I have made have been more of a reflection of the type of person that I am seeking to be. More forgiving of myself, and present in my day-to-day life, and most importantly less competitive!
You might think running a marathon would tend to lead in the competitive direction, wouldn't you? Well, I do accept that it is technically a "race," and I believe that because I have now accepted it as competition that I have been able to face my issue head-on. With every race that I run, each day of the week, I am reminding myself almost constantly that I am running because I feel good when I have accomplished my goal. Or, that I am overcoming my weakness to compete against myself by accepting in the moment that I want to compete and instead of giving in, I am choosing to enjoy the scenery or feel the song that I am listening to within myself deeper than I could if my only concentration was to be the best. I think, therefore, that in that moment I am the best that I can be. As a weak individual, my greatest feat will always be to accept that I am weak and then find the power within myself to overcome it.
Physical weaknesses have allowed me to keep my mind from being negative about the actual run by allowing me to concentrate on keeping my stride straight, not striking too hard and effecting the joints, and keeping my temperature at a comfortable level. It is amazing the amount of freedom that I feel in my mind when I have simpler focuses such as those, compared with the normal flow of everyday thinking. This makes me realize how I could benefit from adding more yoga and meditation into my life. Something that I've wanted to do for sometime now, but until recently have not allowed to take any importance.
As for the injuries, they are coming along. My ankle seems to be on a roller coaster route to healing and I am dealing with it as much as I can. I am terrified that it is not going to heal in time for the big race, but I am sticking to what most people say about it eventually just working itself out. The hip seems to have gotten worse since the ankle flared up and I think that is due entirely to the fact that my gate is altered again. For now, I am going to keep going with the "stretch, ice, rest" method. Cross your fingers for me!
A suggestion that I have now become obsessed with following through on after the race is over is getting some Vibrams Five Fingers. They are the greatest invention for trail and outdoor running they support your ankles and joints like I need. That and a new or upgraded bike are my next physical fitness purchases. I've also considered doing a mini-triathlon training course because I love cycling/running/swimming so much! I figure, if I've made it to the marathon, I can do a MINI triathlon with enough training. We shall see how this marathon plays out and if it is something I feel able to improve upon.
It certainly makes my 8 mile run yesterday seem wimpy. But then, so do a lot of crazy athletic accomplishments that people have made before. I do know that I felt very hardcore running in 40 degrees with a constant rain hitting me and completely soaking through all of my clothing. AND making puddles in the bottom of my shoes...that was yucky. My ankle hurt for the first 2 miles while it was still warming up, but it faded significantly by the 3rd mile. I should say that I had a bridal shower to go to so I was unable to attend the training run. Instead, I used the pedestrian option on google maps to map 4 miles from my house straight down Smith Ave.
I had a few very challenging hills to tackle (not something I would've gotten at the NCR trail for training), and there were a few moment that I felt compelled to run faster...but I knew that if i didn't pace myself I would crap out much quicker. Esp. on hills. At 4 miles, I stopped for a few steps beyond my street marker to walk and take my Gu. The mile from 3-4 was entirely downhill and I knew that I was facing only extreme uphill on my way back, so I took a minute to make my gall bladder spasms go away with nourishment (I get spasms when my stomach's empty), to stretch my ankle, and to remove a headband that was getting warm for me. I figure since I kept walking beyond 4 and didn't immediately turn around, that I technically ran all 8 miles!
Anyway, I made it all 8 miles running except for that small break and completed my time in about 100 minutes. Slower than my treadmill 8, but it included hills and navigating sidewalks/streets/crossings. When I got to the 6.5 mile marker, I upped my pace to about 6mph and ran it home. I keep telling myself that because I was able to do that on the last 1.5, that next week I will be able to make 9 miles. Something I've never been able to do in my life. The most I've ever run is 8.5, so I know this will be a huge week for me. Also, next weekend is wedding dress shopping for me. 2 big things happening in one weekend!! I'm going to try to blog some this week so I can do some short daily entries, but I know that every time I've set out to do that I haven't found the time. This is going to be an insanely busy week ending in a very exciting weekend.
Also, one last note. I am wanted to say that I am just so honored and flattered that so many of you have been reading. I can't tell you how much your support means to me. There have been several times that I have completely welled up with emotion while running just thinking about all of you, and I want you to know that all of your kind words have meant the world to me. So thank you, and I hope to do you justice with some good future blogging.
XO
Next up: who knows....I'm living in the moment.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)